Before going ahead! I am really Thankful to Blogchatter because of whom I have 16 comments on my blog and that means approx 14 people read my blog because 2 comments were lying in moderation mode for a long time. I am so thankful and happy about it…
I won’t say Good morning, because I am unaware of the fact if anyone of you read my blog in the morning or not…or should I start with a good morning? (I am a one hell confused girl like always!)
Anyway, let’s remember our mantra
“No one and nothing matters, all that matters is you and yourself. Learn to love yourself first and everything else will fall in place. Trust me!”
I feel lost all the time. Like I am not making much of my life. I feel I am surviving but not living. (Most of us are!) but is this even life? Why am I being so despondent?
I feel I don’t belong here, I don’t connect with anyone around. All I feel is I am in the wrong world, or maybe in the wrong time…
I have realized, life is always going to be this messy and tricky, so all I need to do is make my own little world for my own self. I need to myself do something that will keep me going in life no matter how hard life gets on me. Because I don’t have anyone’s back and I’d rather have it that way as it makes me realize that I will always have to find a way for myself and remain super strong.
So, I need to make myself a priority, for which I need to get serious about some things in life.
- Writing– I am going to write a very separate post to explain that writing is not just my hobby, it means a lot to me. It is writing that let me be me, write what I feel, and let it out in the universe, even if no one is reading I don’t care. All I care is to just write it down and just be. Writing is my life because I can give up on everything but not writing. Writing is the first thing I got serious about in my life, it gave me a purpose to live. How can I let it just be my hobby? It defines me, I am a writer, before anything else. But I need to take my writing to the next level now and be more super serious about it. Like I want to write with honesty just as I am blogging these days. Pouring my heart out.
- Blogging: Speaking of writing and leaving the blog behind means being silly, even though my ultimate goal was to earn money from blogging but lately, I realized that I enjoy blogging as a place where I could just be me, and this is my space. So I really wish to continue blogging on a regular basis, and also learn about how to take my blog to another level and use it as a means to earn money because why not? So, I will have to learn some techie things soon, but let’s take baby steps for now.
- Reading: I am going very very low on reading these days but trust me I am craving to get back to reading and when I say reading I mean reading a lot. Reading has always made me feel better, have healed me, and have been the best way to learn about life more through stories, different perspectives and also through reading non-fiction we get to learn so much about people and their struggles and life. It is a perfect way to escape when one cannot actually escape in real.
- Painting: I am neglecting painting because of my messy thoughts that have taken control over me and thoughts do affect my paintings so I choose to be away from painting when I am overthinking or when my mind is not just at the right place. So, I guess I need to fight back my inner demons now and get back to painting.
- Illustrations: I have newly started getting into illustration and art and I feel I enjoy it. Though to get perfect at it, I need to practice a lot, and I need to start this as a means to earn money because getting financially independent is my top priority at the moment. I need to get very serious about this as this is something I enjoy + will help me get financially independent. So yeah! an artist in making is at work now…
Every day I really feel I am not making much of my talents, which I am blessed with and truly I am more than grateful for each and every talent I have. I am doing and living a life that is being expected by others of me but not living much for my own.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be myself, live for myself, and not others, and stand up for myself but all I want is even when every other aspect of my life falls apart, are not working well, I want these 5 things to always work, be there close to me and just give me a purpose to live even while it’s dark all around.
And I don’t know till when will I live this life to keep others happy but me. Till when will I keep my art, my life, myself as the last priority and why? and what for? So, I have decided, no matter what I want to improve my skills in each of the 5 important aspects of my life.
Writing, Blogging, Reading, Painting, and Illustrations. This is my world now and this is Home for me. This is my Home…My home…This is where I belong and I wish to stay here Always!
I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatters #Myfriendalexa program.
#blogging #myfriendalexa #blogger #bibliophile #blog #lifemessybits