Remember the Mantra Nazish? Nothing matters and no one matters. All that matters is we just have to survive somehow…
I don’t know what to write today? I just feel empty. All I can think about is the existential crisis that I go through every day. Like you know, I always have felt like I am in the wrong world, I don’t belong here. I just don’t connect with anyone, everyone tries to corner me with their perceptions and I have nothing to say.
I wish Hogwarts was real, I wish to go there and belong there. Like you know Harry says “Hogwarts in my Home!”
Do you feel the same? I know most of us do. We all are just trying to survive. Or living a life we don’t like or just going with the flow, without understanding anything.
Everyone will advise you to just hang in there, oh we all go through this, it’s just a phase, everything will fall into place, don’t be so hard on yourself. bla bla… and to be honest all these words won’t even make you feel any better, they will only make you feel more vulnerable and you’ll feel like no one is understanding… To be honest! you just need a tight hug. No words will heal you…
But I feel when we have no choice but to be strong, even when we want to just break down, escape, run away but no, we will have to be strong, face it, get it through, fight it, that’s how we grow, it will be hard of course, tough and the storm will only get worse, but you’ve got no choice but to be strong. Because you won’t have anyone else to pick you up when you fall weak. So if you fall weak you’ll never be able to survive, and remember the mantra? You just got to survive. The rest is not in our control.
Like you know you are swimming in the ocean of melancholy and then you rest on a shore for sometime but then you are always scared this is not where we belong, this is not home and then soon you will have to leave and get back to oceans of melancholy and the cycle just keeps going on, until and if you actually find home (sometimes people don’t find home at all.)
There is no end to tough days, we all go through it, they will keep coming and going. All that matters is you learn your lessons, keep them safe and grow and somehow just survive…
For now, I just wish to escape to this place, a treehouse where I have my own library, I can read, write and paint. Just like I painted this one. This is my escape for me now… Oh! even this blog, it’s my space to just do blabbing and ranting. And you know I don’t even wish anyone would read this. Because I am blogging for myself… Just myself.
That’s it for today, a bit heavy I know.
If you wish to read me more do subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss any of my blog posts.
Have a beautiful day ahead!